Dear Almost Anyone from the Past, Present, or Future,
In 2010 Victoria, we are having a major problem with too many nearly-tame, incredibly-edible, nutritious herbivores wandering around in our yards and fields.
The problem is that they eat our plants and flowers, damage our lawns, and get in the way of our cars.
I personally moved to the suburbs to get my own little piece of the country. But, the pesty deer are eating my look-but-don't-touch exotic 'garden.' Wild animals? I think we need to draw the line somewhere.
As for the bunnies, they are cute and cuddly. But, these are not wild animals and are tearing up the lawns at the university, which we use for.... something! I will explain what a 'lawn' is in my next letter ;) You'll want one for sure!
Last week, Johnny hit a deer with his car and now has $400 worth of damage to his front end. Anyways, we had to throw the carcass in the dumpster. Why are these stupid animals getting in the way of massive, faster-than-the-speed-of-life vehicles?
We're not sure what to do. Some people suggest that we eat them!
Eat bunnies and deer? Horrible! (Did I tell you about that great lamb burger I had? Yum!)
Besides, what about all the pesticides on our lawns? If we got rid of those, then we might have weeds... which aren't nutritious, medicinal, and delicious, so what would we do then?
Anyways, I have to go to Safeway to pick up some imported beef and greens -- feeding the homeless, tomorrow! Fun!
If you have any advice, then please let me know. We could really use your help!
Hope all is well with you! How's the dirt farm, this year?
Sincerely,
Random Victorian
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Two things:
1) A lot of discussion about this site happens on facebook; so, I would recommend finding the site (link on the right sidebar) and me there.
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Being 'anonymous' is pretty lame, so at least make up a fake name to use.